Hi, Mark here! In case you missed Thursday’s issue, I’m very excited to announce a new feature at Article Club. It’s called Melinda’s Grief Corner. As some of you know, Melinda and I co-host a podcast in which we preview the article of the month. Now she will be sharing her reflections on grief, as well as a resource, for everyone who is interested. I’m looking forward to it, and I’m confident you’ll find the corner illuminating and supportive. The first installment is here below. Take it away, Melinda!
One year ago, on March 9, 2024 at 4:37 pm, my dad died after complications from a stroke. And since then I’ve been learning how to live with what I’ve been calling my new life-long roommate - grief.
I’m what you call an ‘over-intellectualizer.’ I’ve had several therapists (hello, out there if you’re reading!) tell me that I like to write dissertations about my emotions, but not necessarily always feel them.
You know when someone says something about you and you feel both seen and attacked? That is how I felt, y’all! Guilty as charged!
So in the early days of grief, I joked to my friends (and therapist!) that I was trying to get a Ph.D. in grief. I felt like if I could just really study grief, really get in there and stick grief under a microscope, that maybe I’d be able to get a handle on it. And by getting a handle on it, I mean feel like I’m not constantly drowning.
I read every article on grief I could find, I listened to dozens of podcast episodes, I watched the interview between Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper about their shared father-loss at least 10 times.
Just trying to tether myself to anything to help me make sense of this new world I was trying to live in. And trying to make sense of who I was without someone I have never had to live without.
Me and my dad during a vacation in Hawaii in 2004I’m no expert in grief despite me trying to desperately earn a Ph.D. in it. And I’m definitely not a mental health professional who is giving professional advice to the grieving.
But one thing I know to be true is that grief is not something to be fixed.
It is something to be witnessed.
And that’s why I’m here.
Welcome to Melinda’s Grief Corner. A place where your grief will be witnessed and held. And in the spirit of Article Club, this is a corner where I hope you find support through articles, podcasts, and grief resources that I will share.
Every other week I’ll share a grief-y reflection in newsletter format right here in Article Club and I’ll also share a resource I’ve come across that has helped me. And folks will be able to comment on these reflections and resources to share their own thoughts and feelings.
This is open to all folks on a grief journey (or not yet on a grief journey!). If you want to just read these reflections and other people’s comments that is completely fine! There is no pressure to comment or share. And if it’s too much for you to sit with that, then that’s ok too! The newsletters will always be open whenever you’re ready.
And here’s the deal. Grief is big. Grief for me feels a bit like a suitcase. And inside of that suitcase are memories of my dad and also just dozens of emotions - sadness, pain, joy, love, longing, etc. etc.
And you know sometimes that suitcase is super organized with my REI packing cubes bento box style. And other times that suitcase has lost a wheel, I’ve had to duct tape it shut, and TSA is like “ma’am no way can you bring that on this plane.”
Each day the suitcase is different. But each day, the suitcase is still there and we have to carry it forward. And we do not have to do it alone.
And that’s what I hope this grief corner is. A place for us to come together, to support each other, and hopefully for you to find something that helps you in your grief journey.
Bring your suitcase of grief-y ness. Hopefully gain some insight on grief. Cry with me. Laugh with me. Honestly laugh and cry at the same time with me because the journey of grief is a weird road that is anything but linear or logical.
Thank you for witnessing a part of my grief-y journey today. In two weeks I’ll share what happens when you ask Google how to grieve (spoiler alert - it’s messy!).
In the meantime, I’d love for you to share one word in the comments about how you’re feeling in your grief journey. Today mine is “heavy.”
Big hugs, see you soon.
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