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Jan 18, 2020Liked by Mark Isero

Hi all! I'm Carina and I'm 15 minutes away from going to my first ever barre class. My friend invited me because it's benefitting the Boston Public Library and I have been worried about it for the past 48 hours. Anyway, I think the idea of "optimization" was the most unsettling for me. How quickly can you get the "right" nutrients into your body so you can work under capitalism and maximize your productivity? My undergraduate advisor once told me about her life in academia, and she said that everyone is always discussing how "busy" they are and how hard they're working. She likes to contribute that she saw a great movie over the weekend.

I think what I'm struggling with is how to dismantle the system and ideals without berating those who are benefitting from it. This "ideal" type is so exclusionary. To what extent does a $5 chai latte bring me joy, and to what extent is that just what society and capitalism want me to think brings me joy.

This article also made me think about perfectionism. Personally, I am someone who fits pretty neatly into the privileged, "ideal." I have spent a lot of time grappling with my departures from the "ideal." For example, I am gay, which is not society's ideal. I find myself constantly trying to compensate for not fitting the cookie cutter image that women are supposedly striving for. It's hard for me to think about this without thinking about how ideal vs. dissenting woman is a false dichotomy, and how much nuance/gray space lies between them. By pitting the ideal women against the dissenters, all women lose.

I know things start up again tomorrow, but I figured I would throw some thoughts out there so I could be ready for the next iteration.

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Jan 18, 2020Liked by Mark Isero

A lot of great comments already! I hope what I say can be useful. I annotated the article as I read, but while at first read I found this humorous (like the article Mark posted about the market for t-shirts such as "But first, coffee"), there is a more sinister undercurrent here. What can society do to move away from having an unrealistic ideal of anyone?

In addition, I agree with the comments about race. Race is only mentioned near the middle-end of the article, about the workers at Sweetgreen. Are they considered ideal? It seems it's implied the "ideal" side of the sneeze glass is the white yuppies on their hurried lunch break. Where does any non-white beauty standard enter in the ideal-ness mentioned in the article?

And yeah, I'd like to think I'm better than worrying about being the "ideal" that is mentioned in the article, yet I think we all feel pressure in some implicit way (everyone, every race, income, and gender).

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Hi fellow Article Clubbers - I'm Vanessa, I work in Learning and Organizational Development at UC Office of the President in Oakland! I am currently in a Masters program and thought it would be good to add more reading to my life XD. I am excited to learn from you all and to practice more critical thinking and inquiry when it comes to reading articles, as well as learning more about the perspectives of others beyond my own immediate reactions. Thanks for welcoming me and thank you Mark for the community you have built! I promise one day I will make it to the Highlighter Happy Hour.

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Is it too late to be IN?

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author

Hi Article Clubbers! Thank you Jennifer, Marni, Summer, and Hannah, for getting things started! I’ll post some of my first thoughts and questions in the next few days, but for right now, I just want to say (a) I got to talk to Jia today for 15 minutes! (2) I am still alive. 😅

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Jan 13, 2020Liked by Mark Isero

When I read this last week, I wondered how many Black and Latin women has she spoken to? I didn't relate to her comments about capitalism as she described it in her article. I think that (generally speaking) Black women have a different view of their bodies than White women. I heard on an Oprah show many years ago where she said " Black women obsess about their hair and White women obsess about their bodies." I could completely relate to that which is why I cut off my hair. It was too expensive and I realized I was keeping it longer for the wrong reasons. As India Arie said I" Am Not my Hair." Black women are curvier and thicker than White women so we would never fit the mold of "beauty" because we aren't built the way Europeans are. Thank goodness for Serena Williams and Michelle Obama to redefine it! I think that women all have their connections to capitalism. The question is how long does anyone allow that connection to define them versus using what we need in American society as a means to an end? For example, I have a car because I have to work. If I didnt have to work, would I own a car? Probably because I am not defined by my car but I like having the freedom to go where I want when I want.

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Jan 13, 2020Liked by Mark Isero

I think I have to start my initial remark by admitting the following:

This morning I attended a 7:30 am barre class AND, I am currently typing this to you in my athleisure outfit (GASP!!!). I guess according to Jia, I would be the ideal woman? Other than Mark Isero and my dog, very few people think of me with this title. :) I had a hard time deciphering Jia's tone. Would I, a barre-attending, athleisure-wearing gal be her sworn enemy? Or her best friend??!! I couldn't quite figure out if the ideal woman was someone she sympathized with or despised? I found myself being both defensive and self-loathing as I read this piece. I kept thinking: "But Jia! If you come to my barre studio, it's all about empowerment, and community, and there are actually very few pelvic thrusts, and the message is about being comfortable in our bodies and knowing ourselves, and there are women of all ages and fitness levels, and I've met some of my dearest friends there! And I went to barre on the day I went into labor so like... I LOVE THAT PLACE!!!!!" But I also found myself thinking: "Yeah Jia. You're right. Why the eff did I spend 98 bucks on my Lulu Lemons..which I lovingly call Lulus. Damn you Capitalism!!" Yes, that's right. I have a freaking term of endearment for my expensive athleisure. I wonder if my bubble of new motherhood and living in Bend, Oregon has made me rather distant from the harshness with which Jia speaks of the ideal woman. In this mountain town of mine, it's not the norm nor desire (at least in what I see) to have a three hour skin care regime, nor does any one seem to give a flying hoot about your instagram selfies and it's weird to wear make up. The women in my life are into being outside and being with their friends, and we don't even have a sweet greens here! However, her thoughts about the intersections between patriarchy and capitalism really resonated with me, as well as how social media platforms have transformed what it means to "rebel" and its affect on feminism (or the notion there of). I have a lot more to say, but as Mark can attest to, brevity is not my strength. I am going to re-read the article because I feel the first couple of times I read it I did so super selfishly (how is this article about ME? what does it say about my choices? would jia like me?!??!), rather than what I think the point of the article was which was: What does this article say about society? What does this article say about the systems I participate in and the choices I make as a result of these systems?. Oh gosh, so many more thoughts. Going to go eat my HOME MADE KALE CAESAR salad now. :)

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Jan 13, 2020Liked by Mark Isero

my initial thoughts:

-reading this made me confront alot of ugly thoughts about how to exist as a woman, especially one who has a tech footprint in the bay

-it made me deeply interrogate my relationships to 1) fitness 2) makeup/skincare 3) social media/the internet

-i'm in a pit of existential dread (not solely from reading this article!) because, knowing all that we do now, where do we go from here?

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Jan 13, 2020Liked by Mark Isero

Here is my big problem with this article: Despite seeming to find problem with the model of the ideal that is held up in this article, that is all the author talks about. Where is friendship? Where is anyone really, except a single person obsessed with themselves. Maybe self-obsession is the real problem, not optimization. When I think of the ideal woman, sure there are tons of physical (and usually not very healthy) ideals that come to mind, but so does generosity, friendship, and connection to community. When I want to tear down one idea, I find it helpful to spend more time on what I want to replace it with, rather than enumerating all of the problems with the idea.

In addition, this feels like an article written for a certain race (white), class (upper/ upper-middle), and parental status (no kids). Maybe it doesn't ring true for me because I am missing too many of those categories.

Am I being too harsh? What am I missing that makes me think this?

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