Jia Tolentino, Week 2: What do we want to talk about?
Jia Tolentino, Week 2: What do we want to talk about?
Well hi there, Article Clubbers! Hope your Sunday is a great one so far.
First off, thank you for saying, “I’m in!” Katie, Peter, Marni, Dave, Tony, Vanessa, Ram, Sonya, Kati, Jennifer, Michele, Jim, and Summer — I appreciate you, and I’m excited to discuss Jia Tolentino’s “The Tyranny of the Ideal Woman” with you.
Also, thanks to the advanced folks who annotated the article. Your comments were thought provoking and funny.
This is the perfect group: not too big, not too small, tons of kind and thoughtful people, plus we’re equal parts witty and attractive.
OK, it’s time. I hereby announce that the discussion is open!
This week, let’s get our first thoughts out there — our first impressions of the article, the topics we want to explore, what interested us, what we’re wondering about, what questions we have of each other.
Remember: There’s no need to be smart here, or performative. Just go for it. Enjoy getting to know your fellow Article Club friends, build off each other, and say hi!
One last thing: Yes, I’m asking Jia Tolentino our questions tomorrow. She’s the best, and yes, I’m nervous. If you’ve got a question for her, please share.
Next Sunday’s post will include Ms. Tolentino’s interview, plus we’ll go deeper on one or more of the topics / questions that materialize here. Please enjoy!
First time here? To catch up, go here, then sign up for free, then go here!
Hi all! I'm Carina and I'm 15 minutes away from going to my first ever barre class. My friend invited me because it's benefitting the Boston Public Library and I have been worried about it for the past 48 hours. Anyway, I think the idea of "optimization" was the most unsettling for me. How quickly can you get the "right" nutrients into your body so you can work under capitalism and maximize your productivity? My undergraduate advisor once told me about her life in academia, and she said that everyone is always discussing how "busy" they are and how hard they're working. She likes to contribute that she saw a great movie over the weekend.
I think what I'm struggling with is how to dismantle the system and ideals without berating those who are benefitting from it. This "ideal" type is so exclusionary. To what extent does a $5 chai latte bring me joy, and to what extent is that just what society and capitalism want me to think brings me joy.
This article also made me think about perfectionism. Personally, I am someone who fits pretty neatly into the privileged, "ideal." I have spent a lot of time grappling with my departures from the "ideal." For example, I am gay, which is not society's ideal. I find myself constantly trying to compensate for not fitting the cookie cutter image that women are supposedly striving for. It's hard for me to think about this without thinking about how ideal vs. dissenting woman is a false dichotomy, and how much nuance/gray space lies between them. By pitting the ideal women against the dissenters, all women lose.
I know things start up again tomorrow, but I figured I would throw some thoughts out there so I could be ready for the next iteration.
A lot of great comments already! I hope what I say can be useful. I annotated the article as I read, but while at first read I found this humorous (like the article Mark posted about the market for t-shirts such as "But first, coffee"), there is a more sinister undercurrent here. What can society do to move away from having an unrealistic ideal of anyone?
In addition, I agree with the comments about race. Race is only mentioned near the middle-end of the article, about the workers at Sweetgreen. Are they considered ideal? It seems it's implied the "ideal" side of the sneeze glass is the white yuppies on their hurried lunch break. Where does any non-white beauty standard enter in the ideal-ness mentioned in the article?
And yeah, I'd like to think I'm better than worrying about being the "ideal" that is mentioned in the article, yet I think we all feel pressure in some implicit way (everyone, every race, income, and gender).