#478: Misled About Menopause

Articles on menopause, the power of music and violence, and RSVP etiquette

Dear Readers,

I hope you are taking good care. This week, I scoured what seemed like the entire Internet for good articles to share with you. We’re talking about many hours here! (My gut says that the inauguration probably consumed the attention of many publications.)

The good news is, after sweat and tears, I was able to find three pieces that passed my high standards and thereby are worthy of bringing to you. In usual Article Club fashion, they explore various topics and emerge from various sources.

I highly recommend this week’s lead article, “Women Have Been Misled About Menopause,” by Susan Dominus. As someone who personally knows little about menopause, but who seeks to learn more, I found this piece extremely informative. It’s a good companion piece to Issue #457, “The Female Body.”

If that article isn’t for you (even though it won a National Magazine Award), scroll down past Mouse, this week’s pet, to find two more great selections about:

• the power of music and violence in one woman’s family

• the steps we can take to not frustrate our friends

I hope you appreciate this week’s articles. Also, I’m looking forward to our two upcoming in-person gatherings: this Sunday’s discussion of “Someone Else’s Daughter” (sold out) and next Thursday’s reader event in Oakland (still room).

If you like what we’re doing here at Article Club, and want to support this venture with a paid subscription, I would be very grateful. It’s $5 a month or $36 a year.

1️⃣ Women Have Been Misled About Menopause

Susan Dominus: “Imagine that some significant portion of the male population started regularly waking in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, a problem that endured for several years. Imagine that those men stumbled to work, exhausted, their morale low, frequently tearing off their jackets or hoodies during meetings and excusing themselves to gulp for air by a window. Imagine that many of them suddenly found sex to be painful, that they were newly prone to urinary-tract infections, with their penises becoming dry and irritable, even showing signs of what their doctors called ‘atrophy.’ Imagine that many of their doctors had received little to no training on how to manage these symptoms — and when the subject arose, sometimes reassured their patients that this process was natural, as if that should be consolation enough.”

By Susan Dominus • The New York Times Magazine • 30 min • Gift Link • Audio

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2️⃣ The Charango

Valerie Argentina Calvo: “I can see him. He stands proud, with his shoulders back; he’s short and stocky like a pitbull. His voice is just as proud as his posture, loud and deep, with a thick, warm, Andean accent. His wide jaw and square head make him look stern when his face is resting. But my dad is a performer, so his face is not often resting. Most of the time it is in a wide, amicable grin. He holds the neck of the charango in his left hand, and his right hand strokes it, smoothing down the hair, as though it were still living. His big hand covers almost its entire body.

“I remember the night my father choked me. I spoke back at him, and he grabbed my thin neck, pushed me up against a bookcase, and lifted me until my toes were reaching for the carpet. A vase fell off the bookcase and shattered; the next day at school my best friend would ask me about the cuts on my feet. I remember his eyes looked so hard, like black marbles, and his firm, calloused fingers closed off my air like pressing down on a fret. I wonder what strained, high-pitched cries he squeezed out of me.”

By Valerie Argentina Calvo • Longreads • 10 min • Gift Link

Mouse, who belongs to loyal reader Corinne, enjoys road trips to Crescent City. Would you like your pet to appear here? hltr.co/pets

3️⃣ Go Where You’re Invited

Katherine Johnson Martinko: “There's nothing wrong with turning down an invitation clearly and politely when you receive it. I'm all for emptying the calendar of superfluous events, especially if you want to focus on other projects. But I take issue with not showing up for good friends, cancelling within a couple days, using a lame excuse, or leaving your RSVP status vague until the last minute.

“ ‘Self-care’ is often used as an excuse, and while it is important to attend to one's personal well-being, I am not a fan of self-care that marginalizes other well-meaning people. There's a time and place for spending a night on the couch in your PJs, but there's just as much a time and place to show up for the people who want to be your friends — assuming you want friends.”

By Katherine Johnson Martinko • The Analog Family • 6 min • Gift Link

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✅ It’s time for a quick poll. I’d love to hear from you.

Thank you for reading this week’s issue. Hope you liked it. 😀

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