Keeping it short and grief-y!
"Everyday Grief" and a few resources
Hi everyone! It’s Melinda. Welcome to Melinda’s Grief Corner! MGC comes out twice a month on Sundays. If this is your first time here, be sure to check out past posts to learn more about the inspiration behind this new Article Club feature and read about other grief-y topics I’ve covered with resources I’ve shared!
Hello friends! Things have been a bit grief-y over on my end. No obvious reason why - there were no birthdays, anniversaries, or special days. This is what I’ve deemed “the everyday grief.” It’s a kind of grief that lingers in the room. Sometimes there will be something that happens that sharpens the feeling. But most days it’s just there with you.
I say all of this to share why 1) there is no video entry from me today and 2) this newsletter is a bit shorter than normal. And I also say this to normalize the fact that grief is kind of an everyday thing.
When we do talk about grief, which isn’t nearly enough in my opinion, we focus a lot on time markers. The first year. Holidays. Birthdays. Those types of things that our calendars remind us of. But a lot of times, I think, the most difficult part of grief is just living with the constant ache that your loved one is not here with you in the way they once were.
Recently (as in literally two days ago) I made a new dessert recipe - peach cobbler bars - to celebrate stone fruit season (it’s so short! Must take advantage of it while we can!). It is a recipe I never made for my dad. He will never eat these, and I know he would have wanted to because he loved sweets. And he loved when I tried new things in the kitchen. There are no memories connected to him and this tiny, everyday thing that I did this week.
And as small and ordinary as that it, it feels big and grief-y. Those are the moments that we as grievers have to somehow navigate day in and day out. It is the part of grief that is difficult to explain, but also such a huge part of our grief-y feels.
I hope that if you’re feeling this way or have felt this way, that you feel a little less alone knowing that I am over here getting deeply sad over some delicious peach cobbler bars.
And if you’re needing some support, here are a few grief-y resources that have helped me recently:
Black Widow: A Sad-Funny Journey Through Grief for People Who Normally Avoid Books with Words Like "Journey" in the Title by Leslie Gray Streeter. This book is both deeply vulnerable, full of big feelings and also absolutely hilarious. Highly recommend if you want a dash of humor with your grief-yness.
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zaumer. The intro chapter of this book made me cry. The first 20 pages made me FEEL. I’m still getting through this one since it is just a very emotional read, but so far I do love it and feel like its a gift!
All There Is, Anderson Cooper’s Podcast Episode with David and Amy Sedaris. Again, if you want to laugh and cry all within the span of less than an hour, this is the podcast episode for you!
Big hugs friends.