Hi everyone! It’s Melinda. Welcome to Melinda’s Grief Corner! MGC comes out twice a month on Sundays. If this is your first time here, be sure to check out past posts to learn more about the inspiration behind this new Article Club feature and read about other grief-y topics I’ve covered with resources I’ve shared!
Two quick things before we get started! One - no video from me this week sadly! I’m fostering several kittens and it’s been difficult to record a video without one of them stepping on my keyboard and stopping the recording!
Two - don’t forget my in-person MGC gathering through The Dinner Party is happening this coming Saturday (September 13th) here in Virginia Beach! If you or someone you know would like to attend, you can register here!
I’m a firm believer that we do not say goodbye to summer until the Equinox, but at the same time I adore fall. I love cooking soups and stews. I love baking with nutmeg, cinnamon, and clove. I love leather jackets and beanies. And I love taking walks in the crisp fall morning air.
I’ve been feeling a shift in my grief during this transitioning time between summer and fall and it’s made me realize that grief is also kind of seasonal. Not necessarily as predictable as the actual seasons, but grief ebbs and flows in its own way.
And I would be completely crazy-pants to not mention the fact that as we move into colder months here in the U.S. it means that the holidays are right around the corner. And the holidays can be a massive grief trigger for many of us!
So I thought I’d let you in on how I’m planning on supporting myself for these last few months of the year. I hope it’ll inspire you to put together your own little grief resource list if these next few months and the holiday season feel particularly sticky for you.
And not all of these resources are directly grief related! Which I think is important. We’re grieving, but we’re also whole humans with thoughts, feelings, and needs outside of our grief.
Here goes!
Cookies by Vaughn Vreeland, which I’ve preordered! Cookie season to me is its very own season. And I’ve loved many of Vaughn Vreeland’s recipes on the New York Times Cooking App. My dad also had a sweet tooth, so I always like to think he’d love to know I've got the oven on with a batch of fresh baked cookies just minutes away.
Volunteering with my local SPCA. I’ve been fostering animals the past couple of months, and I’ve also taken on some shifts as front desk greeter once a week. Being around animals is always super fun and also getting involve with the community feels really grounding!
Morning walks a few days a week before work. We all know that the days are about to get shorter - I mean sunset at 5:00pm is absolute madness even for me who has a ridiculously early bedtime. But to take advantage of the early mornings, I’m intentionally taking a 20-30 minute walk a few times a week at the park down the street from me before I start work to just get some sunshine before the inevitable early sunset!
Finally diving into The Grieving Body by Mary-Frances O’Connor, Ph.D. This has been on my grief booklist, but I haven’t had a chance to dive into it yet. I’m at a place in my grief where I’m open to learning about grief from a different angle, and this seems like an excellent book to start with!
Planning a standing get together with a friend each week. I’ve started this a bit already - every Sunday I meet up with a friend for a yoga class and a coffee afterwards. And it has been so lovely! During the colder months its so tempting to just nest at home, but knowing I’ve got a standing Sunday yoga + coffee date helps me feel connected, which can be difficult when grief comes up!
And that is it friends! I hope you find ways to support yourself this last little section of the year. And feel free to share in the comments something you’ll be doing (or not doing!) in the coming months to support yourself.
Big hugs,
Melinda
I, too, have been intentionally scheduling a meet up with a friend each week and/or an outing (museum, hike, etc.) to get out of my own head and connect/build community since that is what supports me.