#430: Tradwife Life
Escape the ills of late-stage capitalism by submitting to your man
Modern life is exhausting. Who has the energy? Two weeks ago, we read articles on the theme of “walking away.” Today’s issue is dedicated to exploring another response to the ills of late-stage capitalism. It’s called tradlife.
Do you know about it? Maybe because of my age and gender and TikTok algorithm, I didn’t. And certainly my first impressions involved some feelings. But part of Article Club’s mission — and why we’ve built this reading community over nine years — is to learn, have empathy, and keep an open mind. After watching too-many-videos and reading what seems like the entire Internet, I’m fascinated by tradlife and the tradwives who promulgate the movement.
No matter if you’re an expert or a beginner, I hope you enjoy this week’s articles on tradwives and their interest in tradlife. You can choose from:
If any of the articles gets you to think something new, share your perspective by leaving a comment. I’d be delighted. (If you’re shy, email me.)
🎙️ I warmly invite you to join our discussion this month of “Wider than the Sky,” by Phyllis Beckman. It’s a beautifully written essay about love and loss. Loyal reader Barry calls it “an absolutely brilliant and shocking and deeply human story.” Loyal reader Knitwish reminds us that “the heart doesn’t harden but must heal.” Please read the article and come talk about it on Feb. 25 with other kind, thoughtful people. All you need to do is sign up below. I’ll send you more details once you do.
1️⃣ Cooking, Cleaning, and Controversy
Estee Williams doesn’t leave the house without asking her husband first. “I put my husband’s wants ahead of my own, and this has done nothing but benefit myself and my marriage,” she says. Ms. Williams is part of the #tradwife movement, a trend among mostly white, Christian, conservative millennial and Gen Z women who believe in traditional gender roles and re-creating the 1950s housewife ideal.
After all, feminism didn’t work, tradwives argue. Plus, capitalism has made things impossible for women. There’s no way you can have a job and a family. Why fight and suffer? This article is a great primer of the tradwife life and includes perspectives from Black women who advocate for traditional homemaking, albeit for different reasons.
By Elise Solé • Today • 12 min
2️⃣ What The Trad Wives Taught Me About My Own Marriage
Jo Piazza and her husband were having an argument. “What do you want?” he asked in exasperation. “I want a wife,” she replied. Ms. Piazza reflects on the incident, wishing she had someone who would cook and clean and take care of the children while she focused on work. She sought out simplicity. She wanted less negotation with her husband about every little detail. She longed for order and calm.
In this personal essay, Ms. Piazza — certainliy not a tradwife — explores why the movement is popular right now. She writes, “If I could concentrate on my home and kids instead of on the six jobs I’m doing right now — in addition to running our household — would that make me happier?”
By Jo Piazza • Bustle • 8 mins
3️⃣ Black Tradwives Say Marriage Is Key To Escaping Burnout
It’s not only white women who are tradwives. A growing number of Black women are embracing traditional marriage as well. This clearly written article explores the reasons for the trend. One is a backlash to white feminism, which did not center the lived experiences of Black women. Another is as an exhaustion to capitalism, which has left Black women economically unstable, no matter their efforts. Despite the desires of some Black women to achieve a lifestyle away from the white gaze, writer Nylah Burton cautions against tradlife. “This feels like another means to control us,” she writes. “Our inclusion is also a tool of control, as traditional marriages are also dependent on capitalism and are institutions that can harm Black women. Whenever someone is selling you aspiration, I think alarms should be going off saying ‘I should be consuming this with a critical eye.’ ”
By Nylah Burton • Refinery29 • 12 mins
4️⃣ The Agoraphobic Fantasy of Tradlife
Now that we’ve read a little bit about the phenomena of tradwives and tradlife, let’s spend some time breaking things down. Writer Zoe Hu explains the allure of tradlife (or, at least, the messaging of this allure) as an endeavor to save and protect the endangered state of love. She writes:
Love is the ultimate value, and love is under threat. That is the rumor we good, secular citizens are hearing, at a time when capitalism’s fatal drag on human affections has become harder than ever to ignore. Love is being lost to modern promiscuity, to social alienation, to the degraded hours of work and separation that spread, like static, between the members of your average American family. If only there was a way to save love—and them! Well, respond the reactionaries: the way to rediscover true feeling and value lies in tradition—in, more specifically, tradlife.
Appreciation goes to Article Club facilitator and podcast co-host Melinda, who shared this article with me.
By Zoe Hu • Dissent • 9 mins
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Fascinating. Thank you for the great article selections on a phenomenon I knew nothing about. Who needs TikTok when you have Article Club!
Biblical marriage is, in essence, chattel slavery. At home or at work, women are always required to mold themselves to make men look good. Today, few families can survive without both parents working. There aren’t enough men making the kind of money to support both a wife and children with a McMansion. I recall a study in which men and women were asked what scared them most about the other sex. Most men said, “that she’ll laugh at me.” A majority of women said, “That he’ll kill me.” This is patriarchy & nothing’s changed. Tradwife influencers are trying to find money of their own by peddling toxic relationship; tradmarriage is prostitution wrapped in a bow. (Ask me how I really feel.)