#428: Walking Away
When is it time to stop doing what you’ve been doing?
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When is it time to stop doing what you’ve been doing and just walk away? This week, I’ve selected three articles exploring that question. They include stories about:
A woman who moves to Italy after saying good riddance to the United States
A woman who asks, “Do we really have to be good at our job?”
A woman who says we deserve to take an “absorption vacation”
Depending on your interest and time, I’d love it if you read one (or three) of these pieces and then shared your thoughts about them in the comments. Please enjoy!
✏️ What do you want to walk away from?
1️⃣ The Way We Live In The United States Is Not Normal
We have a “learned helplessness” here in America, argues political analyst Kirsten Powers in this personal essay. Housing costs more, health care costs more, education costs more. Our politics is broken. People like money too much, people are mean, people don’t see their friends, people don’t have time to see their friends. We all know these things to be true, Ms. Powers says. But we convince ourselves that things aren’t that bad — indeed, things could be worse! — rather than doing something about it. “We don’t have to live this way,” she writes.
Though she recognizes that not everyone can move to Italy, as she did, Ms. Powers nonetheless stands by her family’s decision to ditch the United States. Now that she’s in Puglia, on 10 acres of land, she feels calmer, enjoys a glass of wine with friends after work, and can afford a root canal without worrying about her finances. “I want to learn how to live differently,” she writes.
By Kirsten Powers • Changing the Channel • 15 min
2️⃣ The Case For Mediocrity
First it was the Great Resignation. Then came quiet quitting, languishing, and lying flat. Now we’re looking for lazy-girl jobs. Certainly our relationship to work has shifted since the pandemic. But the power of capitalism isn’t going anywhere. We’re ingrained to seek success, even if that means stress and burnout.
Finding a different job isn’t the answer, journalist Jamie Ducharme argues. Neither is going on a long vacation. The key is embracing mediocrity. “Mediocrity,” she writes, “is a far better fate than misery.” It should be good enough, she adds, to be a “good person, a good friend, a good wife, a good dog owner.”
Of course, if mediocrity is your goal, it helps to be white. Writer Michael Harriot says, “A Black person has to work twice as hard as a white person to get half as far.”
By Jamie Ducharme • Time • 20 mins
3️⃣ The Absorption Vacation
One of my favorite perks of being educator is getting significant time off. Before a break, I’m always asked, “What are you going to do?” There’s pressure to say something fancy, like, “I’m going to the South of France to make my own lavender essential oil.” But I usually tell the truth. “I’m going to rest.” Which, of course, means read. A lot. And not much else.
I’m happy to report that writer Anne Helen Petersen agrees with my approach. She calls it an “absorption vacation.” Instead of traveling, instead of “taking a trip,” Ms. Petersen encourages us to find something we love, that we can absorb ourselves in, and do that one thing fully.
It doesn’t have to be reading, she writes. “Maybe it’s knitting, or puzzling, or skiing, or hiking, or meditating, or cycling, or baking. What matters is that you create a scenario that allows you to do an abundance of it, a veritable profusion of it, a beautifully satiating amount of it, with as little thought to logistics or meals as possible.”
By Anne Helen Petersen • Culture Study • 7 mins
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I read two overlapping articles this morning. While Ms. Powers has a good grasp on our nation’s issues stemming from end stage capitalism, what she chooses to do about it is to run away. The second article was Katie Porter’s. Katie is also running, but for the Senate. Her proposals include ending Citizens United--which likely means changing the structure of our hyper-politicized Supreme Court--to eliminate dark money in politics. She also urges reversing gross income inequality (Sanders has proposed a constructive tax bill for that), ending congressional insider trading, providing Medicare for all, lowering costs for college, and ensuring parents don’t need to spend more than 7% of income on childcare. Staying means assuming the burden of real civic responsibility and fighting for change. It is the far harder choice. Fleeing actually only helps to export our problems, as we see democracy imperiled everywhere--Ms. Powers inadvertently admits it.
She also mentions Italy’s lack of diversity almost as a throwaway, but the essential fact is that the USA terms human rights “entitlements” because we were founded in white supremacy--some people are deemed to have more rights than others, right from the Constitution’s start in declaring a Black man to be 3/5’s of a person (and by omission, women not at all). And so it’s telling that she mentions Denmark. Danes are easily happy because they’re a homogeneous culture--the costs of diversity require a much greater willingness to engage in creating collective conscience. But the rewards are far greater, as well, as the best ideas are an amalgam from the widest possible sources.
I’m sorry Ms. Powers chose to run off rather than run for office.
What do you want to walk away from?
Explosions (see Lonely Island circa 2009 video "cool guys don't look at explosions"
https://youtu.be/Sqz5dbs5zmo?si=bTLjsToNJbh-dY_9)
But, seriously. We seem as a nation to be in fight or flight. Walking away, warmly confronting, or peacefully accepting are some nice alternatives - for conflicts external and internal.